“Why you need Life Skills - if there’s no
life in your skills there’s
no skill in your life.”
Ultimately, the goal of being coached is to develop and use Life
Skills that
keep you free, so you can just live the way you wish. Sounds simple enough,
but what skills, and how do you develop them?
Let’s compare Life Skills to athletic skills, for example in golf. If
you have tried the sport, you’ll know that for each shot you must examine
the terrain, select a club, position your feet and hands, turn your body correctly,
maintain arm position, and, of course, not look up! Living isn’t much
different, except we ought to look up once in a while just to admire the sky.
Life Skills are responses you have at your command to make any shot that circumstances
demand of you. If you need a finesse response, it’s there, and if you
need to drive a situation three hundred yards, you have that skill as well.
We need skills to live properly, and they have to be developed. What does
living properly mean? You, as the client, will have the final say on that.
Perhaps for you it means maximizing your business talents so you earn tons
of money, and then creating a legacy for your family and others with it. Or,
maybe proper living would relate more to your faith, and less to your business
activities or work. In any event, it’s likely to refer to expressing
those values that are dear to you. One skill, then, that you’ll acquire
in Life Skills coaching is how to identify your deepest values, and how to
be proud of them.
Once a value is identified, it needs to be protected and expressed. Others
will not always share your views. How do you make sure you compromise with
others when possible, but not on your values? One skill is to set parameters,
to learn to say no, and to negotiate outcomes that only compromise where you
are willing. And, how do you protect your values from your own habits that
might obscure them? Life Skills coaching will help eliminate tolerations, which
are situations you’re “putting up with” that block your values’ being
expressed. One small example: if one of your values is personal health and
hygiene, why have you been putting off replacing that flat toothbrush? Think
of how you’ll feel when you buy a new one and throw out the old. A toleration
is like a clog in a fuel line; clear it out and energy returns.
Living a great life means knowing your values and expressing them with every
breath and movement. Here are some specific Life Skills that can help you do
that:
- Get rid of tolerations
Small things can block large progress. Finding and eliminating them is a skill.
- Examine and Expand your Personal Boundaries
How close can others come before they’ve crossed the line? This
question applies physically, emotionally, financially, and elsewhere too.
Setting
boundaries is a skill.
- Create reserves of time, love, and money
Another Life Skill is deepening
your resources in various areas. How to do this? The answer will
be unique to you, but it’s your understanding
of how much depends on doing it that will inspire your insights…
- Take charge of your work; if it doesn’t work, fix it
This too is a Life Skill, based on examining your work life and your
values.
- Reach out from a solid foundation to others, and create a legacy.
A full life means you are there, and have enough balance to lean
out to other people. Approaching them is a great Life Skill to
have!
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